May 14, 2006
A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to
see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then she saw an envelope propped up
prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed: "Mom".
With the worst premonition, she opened
the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
It is with great regret and sorrow that
I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because
I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice.....
even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle
But it's not only the passion Mom, she's pregnant and Joan said
that we will be very happy.
Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I,
she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter.
She wants to have many more children
with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and
we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the
cocaine and ecstasy we want!
In the meantime, we'll pray that science
will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better, she sure deserves
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now
and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be
back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your Son, John
P.S. Mom, NONE of the above is true.
I'm over at the Mike's. I just wanted to remind you that there are
worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center
I LOVE YOU!
Call when it is safe for me to come home.